Kid of steel heart of gold
by Kelly Greyer
Summary: Chapter 4 installed: Rouge cant handle it and neither can Jean. Rouge's reality is crashing and what shes doing is ripping her as well as the people around her apart. Rouge won't last very long like this, it's to hard...
1. Break me down

**Kid of gold heart of steel, Kid of steel heart of gold (A homewrecker with a heart of gold)**

**By Kelly Greyer**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but this story I guess**

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Jean almost crashed the car that me, her, and, Tabitha were in. We were coming back from the mall and she just kind of got this funny look on her face and she tried to shake it. I looked over at her and she kept her eyes on the road but then she just screamed in pain and turned the wheel causing the car to go off of the road. Luckily I grabbed the wheel and guided the car back to the road until she gathered her shields again. My guess is that's when the worse part the blows came to Samantha. Jean was linked to her, I don't know why but she was, The Professor has told us about this, what happens to a telepath when they're linked to a person experiencing extreme trauma, they get all messed up basically all depressed because they live in that one moment replaying in their heads all the time. There's another reason I'm glad I'm not a telepath.

Once she could focus again she sped over driving somewhere, Tabitha and I were confused and a little skeptical about still being in the car with Jean after that. But ten minutes later we got there and she jumped out of the car not even bothering to close the door and ran into an alley so Tabitha and I followed. At first we didn't know what we were looking at, when we came around the corner Jean was on her knees beside something and then we started to realize that is was a girl but only when we walked up we saw it was Samantha. She was laying there eyes closed blood everywhere. Tabitha stepped back horrified and turned around emptying the contents of her stomach on the alley ground, she gets really woozy and weird around blood. But you be too if you just saw your best friend bleeding, life practically beaten out of them.

I stood there though, looking at one of my closes friends battered form. There was blood in her hair and all over the front of her t-shirt, all over her body. And there was a wooden stick impaled halfway into her side, that's probably when Jean started freaking out. I thought she was dead. The way Jean just sat there kneeling beside her not even blinking really got me worried. She was a doctor who loved to play doctor. And she didn't do any thing she just kneeled there. There goes that telepathic thing.

I was shocked, she couldn't defend herself. She's one of the most fiercest people I know, and wood? I could see if it was a wood bat but who uses wooden sticks to attack someone? It's either aluminum or metal, but I'll tell you who does. A person that knows about Sammy's mutation a person that knew exactly what and who she was and knew she'd be at this spot.

I turned back to see Tabitha sitting on the ground, she was on the phone contacting somebody. Probably Scott and Ororo, even in the still of the night I could tell her face was as pale as the moon. But I turned my attention back to Samantha and my gloved hands open and closed into fist. There was a small, shallow rise and fall of her chest and I knew she wasn't dead. But this didn't relieve me, she'd have to live with this pain I know and at that moment I hadn't known who could do this to her. Why? I knew Stryker and O'Neil were back but they wouldn't have done it like this. They've even got some code of honor among the vicious creeps, they wouldn't have beat her up using her weakness against her, well maybe they would have but they for surely wouldn't have let her live.

Why were we there so long I couldn't tell you, just all staring in any direction but Ororo and Scott came soon. After taking in the scene Scott lifted Samantha and the way she just fell limp as he picked her up made me sick. My hands tightened into fist as Scott carefully put her in the back of the SUV. Ororo had taken Jean and when she rose, she had blood on her knees and hands. She was dazed. Her eyes were spaced and her body was tense. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Rouge?" Tabitha touched my shoulder. Of course I couldn't actually touch her skin with my own but something told me she'd have an icy cold touch to go along with her pale face. I turned around taking another deep breath and we went to the car we came in, telling Scott and Ororo and then leaving.

I drove, Tabitha looked way to sick to get behind the wheel of a car, we drove in silence all the while both of us wanting to say something but not wanting to disturb the silence. We needed it so we let it be.

We got back to the mansion first. And we climbed out, not expecting to find anything but just expecting to crawl into our beds and live possible scenarios of what happened out in our nightmares. But no, not now, not tonight. I climbed up the stairs slowly heading to my room but as I walked past Shaiesha, the new student's room, I saw something. It was blood, dried blood stained on her doorknob and a little by the edge of the door. It could've come from anywhere. A danger room session, a fall around the mansion, a knife cut while slicing. But I had to see. I pushed open her door and looked around her room and I saw them there, they were in her closet half way poking out, her boots, the bottom stained with blood. Walking into her bathroom I saw more, bloody soap where she washed her hands clean of her horrific crime, and the clothes in her dirty clothes hamper, the blood that splashed onto her clothes. And even worse, hanging on her bathroom mirror I saw the necklace, the silver with blue diamond necklace that was given to Samantha on her seventeenth birthday here at the Institute. It was hanging there like her trophy covered in blood like the rest of her things, and as I touched it, it was interesting. I wasn't a telepath but when I touched that necklace, it was like I saw something, a flash of what happened. I saw Shaiesha standing with four other men, hovering over Samantha. I saw two of the men pick her up and hold her so that Shaiesha could get her sucker punches in. She had a wooden 2x4 in her hand and she took that to Samantha's face and abdomen many times. She was bleeding, head down still being held by the smiling men, and then Shaiesha broke the 2x4 in half and jammed one side of it into Samantha, but she was two weak to scream. Shaiesha held her head up and smiled in her bleeding face and then she grabbed the necklace and snatched it off of her neck, covering it in Samantha's blood that covered her hands and arms. Smiling at the bloody necklace in her bloody hand Shaiesha took the other 2x4 half and struck Samantha directly under the jaw and her head snapped back and the men dropped her. Shaiesha was walking away and so were the men but one turned and kicked her on the ground. I turned and looked at an even paler Tabitha with the necklace in my hand

She did it, she bloodied Samantha and walked right into the front door of the institute when she was finished and simply washed her pain away. I ran out of the room, down the stairs and to the elevator. Going to the danger room where I knew she would be I pulled a glove off and calmly walked in. They were looking at me now smiling, and I walked past them towards the back of the room, never have I felt so much hate for one person.

Shaiesha had her back towards me and I grabbed her, my bare skin against her bare skin and she screamed. Somebody had came from behind me and grabbed my arm and pulled me back, careful not to touch me though. Shaiesha sat on the floor in pain and shocked but not unconscious, fully from it.

"You did it! You attacked her!" I screamed at her fighting the hold of John who had grabbed me. "You almost killed her, and for what, just because she was better than you!" I wanted her to scream the way Samantha did, I wanted her to bleed the way she made Samantha, and I wanted her to suffer, I wanted her to suffer more than anybody has ever suffered. And I wanted her to die. And if it was by the last breath in my body she would. She would scream, she would bleed, she would suffer, and then she would die.

"Rouge, calm down, what are you talking about?" Bobby asked me, and Shaiesha only stood there like she didn't know a thing.

"She tried to kill Samantha, and she damn near succeeded!" I screamed at her but I was talking to Bobby. And it was becoming more clear, her memory started to fade into mine after our encounter. "We found her, inches away from death, beaten by the hand of her!" I pulled harder against John. "You won't get away from this!" I pulled out the necklace from my pocket and held it up, everyone saw the dried blood. I threw the necklace at Shaiesha and it hit her in the face. But not as nearly as hard as I was going to hit her. Nobody knew what to do or how to respond.

"Hey what's going on in here?" Lexa and Logan came into the danger room at the sound of all the screaming.

"We've got a situation on our hands." Piotr said to Lexa. They looked at me, still fighting the hold of John and then at Shaiesha who was clutching the necklace in her hands just staring at it.

"You two, come with us." Logan said. I wasn't moving but John pulled me towards Logan who grabbed me with a stronger hold. Shaiesha got up willingly and walked on the other side of Lexa and they took us out. As we walked out of the danger room I glanced at Shaiesha who was looking at the necklace, almost as if examining it, and then she smiled. A half a second of a smile and then her face returned to it's expressionless state. Tears burned at my eyes as I walked, strands of white falling in my face as my tears ran down my face like a sheild to hide the pain.


	2. The business of misery

A/N: Okay so this is chapter 2 hope you like it, but there are a few things I'd like to point out. Samantha the one who was attacked basically has the same powers as Magneto and Pitor, she can contract metal on to her body so thats one. The other thing is that in the first chapter the girl who attacked Samantha is named Shaiesha, but I came over some problems with that so now shes Fallon. Umm oh yes, also you'll find the name Lexa in here as well as the last chapter well shes from a show called Mutant X and this story when I first wrote it was a cross over between X men and Mutant X so yeah.

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Turning around I saw them come in, Jean, Scott, Ororo, and a limp bloody Samantha. They immediately drew attention as everyone stopped and stared. There was almost an instant silence that went around everyone that saw them. Fallon didn't even glance over at them; she didn't need to, because she knew what she had done. And she was proud of it, it was almost as if she wanted us to find the things in her bathroom. She wanted us to know what she had done, what she had accomplished and I wanted to know what was going to happen to her for it.

"Oh my god, what happened?" Lexa asked, her jaw dropped as they all ran pass us with Samantha.

"She happened." I motioned over to Fallon, wiping my eyes clear of tears.

"You know you are really beginning to tick me off." Fallon finally spoke. "I suggest you shut your mouth right now, I don't really like the sound of your voice."

"Yeah well I don't really like you." I couldn't believe she was still standing before me, head held up high and pride burning threw her voice. Oh what I would give to take the pride out of her.

"Wait, what did you do? What did she do?" Lexa had started to catch on.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Fallon shrugged and started to walk away but not before turning to me first, smiling. "Welcome to my nightmare." She whispered to me and I couldn't take that. My fist tightened, and a looked down as she walked away. Now wasn't the time, not yet, but soon. She would be broken; with every breath her body would be broken.

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Everybody fluttered around in the infirmary. Jean was back to normal and Beast had come to join the clatter. They had mostly cleaned up all the blood and now Samantha laid there, tubes stuck down her throat, machines that were hooked up to her buzzed and whined. But as I watched this scene, the only thing that I could think about was that the person who had done this to her was still in this house, taunting me, patronizing me. All I could think about was ending her for what she had done. Revenge was never a good thing to be driven by I knew. 

The professor had always lectured us on it. But it didn't matter, we were housing a…a…a…..well, for lack of a better word; a psychopath. I left them there to do their work, there was nothing I could do about it. But I could go for the one who caused it.

"Well Rouge, thought you'd be up here sooner or later." Fallon called from the inside of her room, I walked in. "And to whom do I owe the pleasure?"

"Why?" I couldn't stand standing there, talking to her but I just had to know. Before I ended her I had to know.

"Umm, why what?" Fallon got up. Face blank and expressionless, taunting me once again. All I could do for now was take a breath and stuff my hands in my jeans.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. She's in the infirmary lying there, hooked up to machines that if unplug, may cause her to lose her life, and she didn't deserve it!" I kept my voice low but I was still angry. "Don't you think you the least you could do is provide an explanation?"

"Provide an explanation huh, well why? You really think the least I could do is roll over and die." She got off of her bed walking up to me. "Or take her place?"

"You will take her place, don't doubt that." She smiled again.

"I'm in the business of misery." She had started to look around and search her pockets. "I'm sure I had a business card somewhere in here. Catch you later." Fallon walked by on her way out. She reached out to hit me on the arm, as if we were friends and had just had a light talk, but when she did. I saw Samantha's necklace on the neck of Fallon, dried blood still on it.

"You are one work of art."

"And don't you forget it."

"Take it off."

"Huh? Oh you mean this," She held the necklace on her neck out. "No. It looks good on me. I think it makes my eyes stand out, don't you?" I pushed her into the wall. "Um, do we have a problem here?"

"You know I'm sick and tired of you. You're not invincible and you're not among friends."

"Well 1; Right now I am among friends and I admit, that might not last long but it'll last long enough. And 2; I've noticed that that pattern comes naturally around here. I mean, its funny Samantha was in the same predicament. Completely vulnerable, and not amongst friends. But I'm keeping my mouth shut, you know what they say, those who live in glass houses…"

Again I grabbed her and pushed her back, she fell and landed on her elbows in the hall. I stood over her, starting to pull off a glove.

"Oh come on Rouge give your best shot. You've got an open opportunity right in front of you, are you going to take?" Fallon was only patronizing me and I was going for it. But I won't give her that control so I pulled my glove back on. "You're just like them Rouge, afraid to throw a punch."

"I'm not saying that this is over, I'm just saying it won't be like this. Your time will come, besides you've been living in that same glass house for to long." Before walking away I snatched the necklace off of her neck then left to go see there progress on Samantha, leaving Fallon on the ground.

You would have never thought that something like this would have happened; a war going on in Xavier's School. Sides made not have been clear but we knew who the enemy was. Xavier was a man who always talked about turning your negatives into positives, to work for the greater purpose, and here we are. Words that reached so far and so long had touched nothing, and a cause that you have fought for more than one time means nothing and you give only an example of what the hate is. But do you care, no, because it means nothing. When you've been put in a position such as this one it is almost as if you have to choose between the letter of two evils; to let the actions go unnoticed and forget about it letting your friends suffer and do nothing, or to take action and make the guilty party wish they had never done a thing to anybody, or maybe even take things to far and take a life. One may sound better than the other for different reasons and it may soothe you for a bit, but the only thing is. They both have sickening effects that leave a toll and you and the people around you, and for both options you'll have to live with the results for the rest of your life. And while in the moment, it may seem like a risk you're willing to take, in the long run it won't be. It'll eat at you and destroy you, and you'll think it may not have been worth it, because it simply wasn't. But you do it anyway don't you?

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"How is she, is she awake, is she okay?" Beast had me standing outside of the infirmary; he stopped me before I could even get in. 

"Rouge, I want to tell you that everything is okay, that she was fine but I can't lie to you or anyone else Rouge. This is not good. She has serious head trauma broken ribs, punctured lung and she's lost a lot of blood. We're not entirely sure how she's going to pull through this one." He said putting a giant blue hand on my shoulder.

"Well, there are two things we need to be clear on here. 1, there's not a force on this Earth that can stop that girl. And 2; you're housing the person that did this to her."

"Rouge, what are you talking about?"

"It's that new kid, Fallon. She did this, first I saw all the blood and then I saw everything. And there were some people with her. I don't know who but, she did this okay? She did it okay?" I was frustrated, I didn't think anything like this could ever happen, but you never think the worse things that you always see on the news could happen to you, do you?

"Rouge, are you sure, what you're saying is awfully surprising it's a big thing..." I cut him off.

"I know exactly what you're thinking okay and it's not an accusation it's not an assumption. Its fact okay I know it is, it's not that hard to understand."

"Okay, Rouge. You saw what you saw, step back and let us take this over."

"I'm not going to blow it out of proportion okay, and I'm not going to do anything I'm going to regret." I raised my hands up as if to surrender. "You handle this, I'm backing up." I was lying through my teeth. "I just…let me now how things go."

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I was to tired to think about anything. I didn't want to deal with any of this, just for the moment. I wanted to go to sleep and stay in my dreamland right now, but Fallon's memory was burned into mine and any hope of a peaceful sleep was futile. Almost as soon as I laid my head on my pillow the nightmares started to rush in. Blood and more of it. Over and over again, and before I knew it I was sweating with the sheets stuck to my body out of breath. This was really getting to me and an end had to be put to it. I looked over at the digital clock that was on the nightstand by my bed. It was 2:47am; it wouldn't be easy dealing with this, not while she was still here. 

There was a knock at door interrupting my thoughts. Pulling the covers off of me I went to the door and opened it. It was Jean; she looked like the angel of death or something in the darkness.

"Yeah?" I was almost a bit nervous.

"Rouge, how do you know?" I knew exactly what she meant.

"I saw it all, everything." Jean nodded and walked off and I followed her, we were headed to Fallon's room, Jean knocked on the door. After a second she opened the door and stepped out.

"Hey there, we having a little midnight girl's only chat?" Neither Jean or I said anything, Fallon sighed. "You know I would one day want the pleasure of your company, but so far it only brings me displeasure, so where's the fun in that?"

"Come on." Jean said turning again. Fallon leaned over to me.

"She's a person of very few words huh?" She whispered in my ear and I pushed her away from me.

"You know something, I've got one nerve left and you're getting on it."

"Like I care." I kept walking and Jean led us into The Professor's office where all the teachers were waiting.

"I can not understand your actions Fallon." The Professor said from his desk. "I do not understand why a young woman as promising and extraordinary as you are would go and do something so inhumane." Fallon stretched and yawned.

"Well I'll say this Professor sometimes; things are just black and white, with no greater purpose." She turned to Jean, Scott, Ororo and Logan. "And do you really know what you're fighting for, or what you're up against? And you," She turned towards me. "Oh I really, really don't like you."

"Well I'm glad the feeling is mutual."

"Fallon, I have never had to do this before, nor have I ever wanted to, but your erratic tirade against Samantha and other students leave me no choice at all. I'm afraid that there is no place for you here."

"So that's it? No explosions, dramatic music playing in the background? No honorable mention? Eh well I guess the 3:00 in the morning was a nice touch, for a bunch of dorks in leather….I guess." Fallon took a bow and walked out and as she did I counted down from 40 in my head, _3, 2, 1_

"I'm going to go back to bed." I said to nobody in particular walking out of Xavier's office. The halls were dark and it seemed as if everything had moved in slow motion. Everything slows and the smallest sounds become like a loud knock against your eardrums. You can hear your breath, your heart pounds in your ears and the footsteps of the person you're looking for lead you straight to them. And now Fallon was walking out at the start of the driveway of the institute, on her way out. And I was standing behind her at the end of the driveway.

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Reviews anybody oh yes, I call on you. 


	3. How does it feel

A/N: Okay yeah so I know I took an extra extra extra extar long time to do this but I have a good excuse...I was being lazy. I lost it cuz I didn't know what I saved it under or on what computer so I find it and then I had to think of how I wanted to do it cuz I'm not to good at writing fight scenes and stuff like that but I did it and it's done, well not the story just this chapter. Ummmm what else...I've got new socks on yeah, thought I might put that in there in case you were wondering(I know I'm such a nerd) But anyway this is the 3rd chapter of Kid of steel heart of gold (or is it the other way around?) Hope you like it I think it's good kinda rough but good but N-JOY:)

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I paused and took a breath, my ungloved hands clinched into fist. I didn't even want to think about this, I barely knew what I was going to do but still I approached her. Getting closer I reached out a hand to grab her but she turned around quickly and stepped away.

"You didn't think it would be that easy did you?" She lowered her head and smiled.

"Well, it was worth a shot."

"So what are you going to do Rouge, what's it going to be huh?" Fallon began to circle me and I just stood there letting her. "You think just because your little friend already occupies a bed in that infirmary that you can't join her?" She came up close behind me, so close I could feel her breathing on the back of my neck. "Or do you think that's the reason why I will?"

"I don't know pick one that makes you happy." I said before giving her a sharp elbow to the stomach making her stumble back.

"Well then," Fallon stood up straight. "If that's how it's going to be, you can join your friend."

"And how exactly do you plan to do that?" I asked, staring at her, challenging her.

"Simple, with my hands around your neck." With that she charged attacking me with high intensity she was a feral but thanks to our earlier encounter I knew what she was about and she was still weak. She threw fast punches and hard kicks, but I was able to dodge everyone. I delivered a few hits of my own mostly concentrating on trying to grab her and wrestle her down, never letting her go. I wanted to drain her and then I could do something more. Take her on when she was weak and could barely even move, show her what it feels like. But because I was concentrating on that so much, her unorthodox moves caught me off guard and she slung me to the ground.

"Oh come on, is that the best you got?" I was laying on my stomach as I heard her, bouncing up and down, so cocky, so arrogant. "I was hoping for a better fight out of you then I got from her. So get up, come on get up. I'm playing by the rules for now, so don't pull a cheap move and try to throw sand in my eyes or some crap like that." I looked forward still on the ground and I saw it, a thick branch laying right in front of me, light enough for me to handle it with ease but heavy and hard enough to do damage to her.

"Screw the rules." Moving quickly, now catching her off guard, I held it with both hands and put all of my weight into the branch. It smashed into the side of her head and threw her off of her feet. "Tell me, how does that feel?" I smiled at her, spiting out the blood that leaked into my mouth. She moved on the ground getting onto all fours and I raised the branch over my head and slammed it into her back, she cried out in pain and fell once again to the ground. "What makes you think you at all have the right to that to her?!" Furious, I practically jumped on her back trying to cause her as much pain as possible. "And you come back and pretend you don't even know what happened, pretend you didn't just attack and bloody her?" I thought I could hear crying a little and I smiled in victory.

"Well, I never meant to brag." Fallon turned over on her back and smiled up at me. "But you should know, she's not going to make it out of that infirmary at all, and she'll have you to thank for it. And who are you really fighting for Rouge, what are you really fighting for? You don't even know, because you Rouge, you are driven solely by petty emotions, but mostly rage and hate. Or did you really think that you were doing this for your dear Samantha, I mean look at you now, fuming with hate, but for what? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I could build you or break you, your choice." She was still at it, still manipulative, still daring, still asking for more than she had bargained for. And I don't know when I started hitting her or when I started liking it. But at the moment it didn't matter, all that matters was that I knew it was all for Samantha, didn't I? Of course I did, why wouldn't it be, this bastard sprawled out before me nearly ended her, and who knows what the lasting effects of this would all be. She'd pay for this, she'd pay for it all. At least I keep telling myself that, but was she right, would I be the one paying for it instead of her.

Millions of thoughts zoomed through my head as I continued to bash that branch into her back, tears clouded my vision but it didn't matter because I didn't need to see with her right under me. I just needed her to know and to feel. Feel the pain that Samantha had felt and know that she would not get away from this. Because I did feel I've seen it all and I didn't want to nor did I need to, but unfortunately what was probably driving that branch to be raised over my head again and again was the fact that I had to keep convincing myself that this was all for Samantha, all for a friend, and I desperately wanted that doubt to go away.

"Rouge!" I was snapped back to reality by the breaking of that branch causing me to fall to the ground and someone calling my name. I looked around, Fallon was gone. I didn't know when she had managed to crawl away, I was to wrapped up in my own mental battle and I let her get away. "Rouge!" I turned and saw Jean and Ororo running towards me and I erupted in tears. I felt their hands as they grabbed me carefully and raised me to my feet, holding me like a child, but no, I'm not a child I'm not a child…

"I'm not a child! Let me go!" I broke away from them redirecting my anger from Fallon to Jean and Ororo. "You're not going to do anything about this? You're just going to let her leave?!"

"You can't handle things like this Rouge, not like this." Ororo spoke softly.

"Oh save me the lecture! You never ever do anything, any of you! And nothing's ever going to change that way!"

"Rouge, nothing is ever going to get solved like this. What do you even expect to prove huh?" Ororo spoke again, they all said the same thing, their on two different sides of the fence and they still say the same thing.

"People like her need to be taught a lesson!" I shot back fiercely, Jean looked at me, sadness, no disappointment in her eyes.

"And people like you and her never learn. That's what's so wrong about it." I had a feeling that maybe I had went to far, that maybe Jean wasn't just talking about me, she was talking about everything and everyone she had ever fought for and with. I looked her in her eyes, or at least tried to, she only looked away from me and walked past me heading back to the mansion. Why was I doing this?

"Come on Rouge, lets go." Ororo once again grabbed my shoulder leading me back to the school and I didn't pull away. During the short walk I stared at Jean's back staying a few feet in front of us. I must have really hurt her, because they way that she looked at me….I think Jean had seen these things happen to often, conflicts and random acts of violence, but to see them happen with not only teenagers, but teenagers she had desperately tried to teach and help understand was just something she could not take.

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Please oh please review, tell me anything just review please and thank you (semi colon right parenthesis) 


	4. I'm a creep

If I'm not the worse updater ever? I have an excuse though, my world is crumbling, my parents are getting divorced and me and meyso called bff are no longer bffs, we're not even speaking. But whatever it's good, please read and reveiw :)

"You don't get it Jean."I stormed into Jean's lab, angry at her. Angry because somehow I blamed her for letting Fallon get away from me. I blamed her because she didn't do anything, she could've but she didn't and she stopped me from doing it. I blamed her for blaming me for wanting to do what I knew had to be done, and what she hid from. Hiding behind her glorious cause as an X-men, she only believed it because she, like the rest of them, are too afraid of the other option, or at least that was what I now believed. I didn't care what she believed actually, I didn't care for her and needed to make her see that. See that I was right and that she was wrong...it had to be done, it had to be. "You have no idea, none at all and you've got no right..."

Jean looked up at me, more disappointment in her eyes, but I didn't care I couldn't care I wouldn't care. She opened her mouth to speak but I began to yell at her before she could say anything.

"No, I don't care okay? This isn't one of your battles for mutant and human kind, you don't know anything here, you don't know what it's like and you damn sure don't know what I've been going through!" I could see tears building up in the corners of her eyes but the tears had also begun to build in mine.

"Why are you doing this!?" Jean yelled back at me standing up, I had never heard her yell, I had never seen her this angry but I guess I didn't expect her to stand there and let me yell at her without a response, I guess I just didn't know what that response would be. "This isn't you Rouge, you don't even know why you're doing this! And you don't have to do it you can be..."

"Stop trying to make this into some type of human to mutant relation Jean because it's not!"

"But it is Rouge, it is! Don't you see? This is claiming you, it's turning you into something else and it's not you Rouge! This is becoming your life and it doesn't have to be, you don't have to attack back Rouge it's finished, but you won't let it go!"

"You didn't see what I saw." I had lowered my voice; I wouldn't be in a screaming match with her.

"My mind was in the same place with her when it happened Rouge, did you forget that, huh?" I did forget, I completely forgot...but it seemed like she forgot just as quickly to me.

"It's different..."

"Oh different, is that so? Do you think what happened to Samantha isn't effecting me, isn't effecting everybody? So we just phased it out of our heads and forgot about it, is that what you think? That nobody else did anything about it, and that you were the only one who hated her, that wanted to go after her?" I saw a single tear slide out the corner of Jean's eye as she stared at me and it suddenly made me ashamed, ashamed of what I had done, ashamed of who I was. Jean was right, she was absolutely right I didn't have to but I did. And I don't even know why...

"Rouge I go in there every day and I watch her, she's in a coma. She's between life and death Rouge, and honestly I have seen enough dead kids. But to see one of my own, somebody who didn't deserve it at all...kids versus kids, and than for you to go and do something stupid..." Her voice trialed off and she brought her clinched fist to her eyes, taking a minute, crying at the thought. "I understand your pain Rouge, I understand your anger, but you have to realize that it can't happen like this, it's to hard...it may seem easy but god it's so hard Rouge it's so hard. I don't want to see you or Samantha like this, so stop, end it..." Jean walked out, her arms crossed across her chest, as she walked I heard her say, _go see her_, I haven't even went to see her.

I fell to my knees, now I was crying, again. Jean had succeeded again in devastating me, changing everything. Everything I thought I was so sure about and desperately clung to, she turned around. But how, how could I let this go? I had taken it so far, I had thrown all of my energy to being the end to Fallon.

And I know she'll be back. She never just walks away, I got her down and I know she'll becoming back for me...maybe back for Samantha.

Rising to my feet I wiped the tears from my eyes, this was to much to handle.

This was to real for me, I never wanted this to happen, I didn't start it but I had to, or at least I thought I had to finish it. I walked out of the infirmary and headed to my room, I hadn't been getting much sleep and maybe that was affecting me. But I guess if I ever did do anything I was hoping that someone would clear me of all wrong doing.

Since this has started I've been waiting for someone to tell me that I was in a bad dream, that this was just a nightmare and to wake me up from it. I was expecting to wake up with everyone and everything back to normal, with Samantha staring at me smiling (or not smiling) when I wake up.

This is a nightmare, but I am wide awake...so how can someone wake me up and end it if I am already up?

I let my head sink into my pillow and I closed my eyes, it was still to much. Way to much for me, I should just back off, I should let the adults handle it. It's the right thing to do and I know it is, but everything is falling down around me I feel like I just can't make that right turn.

Jean is right, I know she is, but I also know that I am right, and when it comes down to it I'll back myself up on how right I think I am won't I?


End file.
